Merry Chirstmas!

December 25, 2009

WOW!! It sure has been a while since I paid this any attention. Totally inappropriate, I know! I guess that just goes to solidify this as a travel blog and not so much a regular day to day collection of my musings. I will look to change that with 2010 sitting just around the corner offering up not only a new year but a new decade, to start again fresh. A new decade for us all and a new decade for me personally as half way through the year I will be hitting the big dirty thirty! I can hardly believe it, but my birth certificate says it's true.

For the immediate future, however, we will stick with the travel theme as, in two days, I will return to the beautiful land of sun and surf, my beloved Costa Rica. Some of my destinations will see me return to the towns I've loved before and some will have me finding new places, within the Costa Rican borders, to fall in love with.

For the first time ever I am setting off on a trip with someone else, my friend Tracy, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't at all nervous about it. I guess the thing about traveling alone is that there is no one to disappoint, or be disappointed by, no one else that could trigger a shift in my mood or my mindset. Having traveled before I know that it is not the kind of thing you should do with just anyone and I did not go into this plan with Tracy lightly. I love the freedom of traveling alone and not needing to be accountable or responsible to anyone, but I've also seen many fellow travelers moving in pairs and thought how nice that would be. To know that someone always has my back, to know that with every change of destination there is someone there with me to get through over any bumps in the road that may come up. What worries me though, about having a partner in the journey, is the potential for someone else's desires and actions to affect my trip. Already tonight I got news from Tracy that she was changing our plan for meeting in Toronto tomorrow night and it has affected me greatly.

She has bailed on me and it hurts my feelings. I'm fully aware that in the end it's no big deal and there is so much more to this trip than the one night in Toronto, but the eleventh hour change, and seeming disregard for my feelings, affects my heart and my mood regardless of what I know to be true in my head. If I was doing this trip alone clearly this wouldn't be an issue. It's a shift in thinking to travel with another and I need to get my head around that, something I've been having trouble doing. I'm sure once we get there and have a night in Costa under our belts these feelings will melt away, but having never done a trip like this with someone else before, I am not entirely sure of how I should feel right now. I guess excitement is the way to go, and maybe my veritable burn out from a long year of hard work is affecting my ability to be truly excited. Affecting it at least until our plane takes off on Sunday evening, because if ever there was a way to get the excitement rolling it's the speeding up of the plane on the runway in preparation for lift off.

I think my lack of tangible excitement is partly due to the knowledge that Tracy will be leaving the North American Continent for her first time when we take off on Sunday. Though fully aware that I shouldn't, I can't help but feel responsible for her and the kind of time she will have on this trip. This is not something she is putting on me in any way, but rather something that I am absolutely putting on myself and I think it's throwing me off somewhat. I have been on a few trips by myself and I know how I mentally prepare and feel excited for them but this is different.

As the day draws closer, however, it's hard not to just feel plain old stoked. I have traveled enough to feel that I can make good decisions about who to choose as a travel partner and having lived with Tracy for a year, and being close friends for even longer, I feel I know her well enough to know that I've made a good decision in choosing her as a travel buddy. So, as the time for lift off approaches, I must settle into the decisions already made and simply look forward to a vacation that I very much need, and very much deserve.

So on that note I say, Feliz Navidad to all and stay tuned for the return of the adventure stories.

Much love as always!
Mols xo