Heading Out?

October 29, 2006
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Tomorrow morning my friend Ximena is headed to Bolivia to do a six month volunteer stint in the mountain town of La Paz. The next day one of my bestest friends in the world, Sam, and her boyfriend Sterling will hop a plane in the same general direction but landing in Buenos Aires, Argentina. They are living there for a few months before heading northward on a travel adventure with no set return date as of yet. Needless to say I'm insanely jealous of them, while also insanely excited to hear about all the inevitable adventures that lie ahead for them all.


Sammy and I (photo: Mike Ford)



If all goes well, I'll be making a trip in the southernly direction, maybe even to meet up with Sam and Ster for a bit. Unfortunately that will all depend on how much work there is coming my way in the next couple months especially and in the winter months as well. So it's a wait and see kind of thing, something that would be driving me nuts if I hadn't basically decided to head out west for a substantial part of the winter. I need to get out there. I miss it very much and I know that a trip out there could bring me the inner peace that I'm craving. It gives me a chance to travel and catch up with some of my most important peoples all at the same time, and in a perfect world it would bring me a few new work opportunities as well. At least it's something to plan for at the moment. I just hope that I can work as much as possible before Christmas.

Regardless, I opened this entry to wish a Bon Voyage and Buen Viaje to mis amigos who are taking off in the next couple days to open their eyes to the beauties of the world around us, I look forward to the stories and pictures that will, eventually, return with them and the tellings of their amazing experiences, although there will be days when I'll undoubtedly find myself longing to spend just a little bit of time with them. I think the greater distance in proximity to our friends, the more realization that we are growing up and taking control of shaping our own lives. It is beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time and I look forward to heading west in order to ground myself in the warmth of some of my nearest and dearest.

Safe travels my darlings, I'm so proud of all of you for chasing your dreams!

Sammy and Ster

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

October 28, 2006
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I know, I've been absolutely horrible in the last six weeks as far as posting anything here is concerned, but I couldn't let October go by without at least one post to log. The thing is I've been busy with work and such, really I have, I even have some exciting news. I have lots of news actually but I prefer to start with the exciting stuff.

I have found a light at the end of the oh so dark P.A. tunnel. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate being a P.A. The job itself is not the worst thing out there, but after two years there's only so much more I can learn and beyond that I'm just tired of being the lowest paid monkey, hanging in the dimly lit branches at the bottom of the tree. I have a brain and can you believe it actually works quite well?!?! I'm tired of doing a job in which it sometimes seems as though I'm almost encouraged to just not think. Problem is I could get in trouble for using or not using my brain, damned if I do, damned if I don't. I'm over it!

Enter two of my favourite people on set. Barrett and Paul, first and second camera assistants who I'm always happy to see in the wee morning hours at the beginning of yet another commercial shoot day. It started during a pre-light day back in May, and easily the day that I was the most hungover I've ever been at work (Kawabi reunion the night before...nuff said!). I was 'standing-in' on the 'kitchen set' as the rest of the crew finished up with the lighting and framing of the final shot we would pre-light for the next day. I was trying to hold an awkward seated position (I was standing in for a little girl) when I heard Barrett ask me something from behind the camera's eyepiece. He asked if I was interested in learning camera. I think the hangover muted my enthusiam, but said yes I was. I've always been interested in cameras and certainly I've wanted a way out of the production side of film for a while. Barrett and I agreed that we would try and find a time for me to join him at Panavision for a prep day. Fast forward to a couple weeks ago in Hamilton, Ontario.

During the busier summer months, it was hard to find time when I was available to join Barrett at Panavision to start learning something more than just which cases to grab and throw on the truck. Then, a week and a half ago, on a job shooting for three days in Hamilton and area, I was assigned to the camera department, to help them out. Couldn't have been happier about that one, worst case scenario I get to hang with Paul and Barrett all day, best case, I use the time to start learning camera. For the next two days I remained attached to the camera department's perverbial hip. By the end of it I was garbbing lenses, slating and standing by when Barrett and/or Paul could not. A few wrap drinks later they had decided to bring me into a whole new, and much more interesting, world. Got a prep day under my belt with Paul and by a twist of fate ended up on the job with them two days later. Again, I stuck to them like glue and was taken in warmly by both of the two camera teams on set. The days were long and sometimes gruelling, but I loved every moment of it. Okay let's keep it real, almost every moment of it, but every 17 hour work day has it's down points and that's not my point. I finally feel like I have something to go after in this industry that interests me more and will lead to a better, slightly more sane, lifestyle and better opportunities, and the increase in pay won't hurt anything either. It's had a very calming effect upon me in the way I've been searching for ever since I got back from my trip.

Of course, there is always a twist when I begin to feel sorted. The current twist would be Dave's telling me that he is going to move out. So, now I have another decision to make. Oh how I love having decisions to make...not really...not sure...? Making big decisions isn't exactly my strongsuit when I have a lot of options, but I have to just believe that I'll make good ones, that I've made good ones in the past. So, now I'm looking at basically three options. I can find another roommate to move in for the middle of January, find my own place for the middle of January or storage. Why storage? Well, I've been longing to go out west for a good chunk of time this winter and maybe this is that opportunity. It would certainly solve the paying rent while out of town problem and being in Vancouver could also bring me new working opportunities and I would really like to try and break into the industry out there too. Of course I can't deny that I am also just aching to see a number of people who live there. Two of my closest friends in the world are in the west and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

I'm a sucker for the mountains that can not be denied. They have one of the greatest powers to calm my mind that I've ever experienced. Sitting on or under their massive pressence, one can not help but realize how vast the world is and yet how important each tiny piece of it is to the overall operation of this beautiful machine we call earth.


i love me my mountains