Merry Chirstmas!

December 25, 2009

WOW!! It sure has been a while since I paid this any attention. Totally inappropriate, I know! I guess that just goes to solidify this as a travel blog and not so much a regular day to day collection of my musings. I will look to change that with 2010 sitting just around the corner offering up not only a new year but a new decade, to start again fresh. A new decade for us all and a new decade for me personally as half way through the year I will be hitting the big dirty thirty! I can hardly believe it, but my birth certificate says it's true.

For the immediate future, however, we will stick with the travel theme as, in two days, I will return to the beautiful land of sun and surf, my beloved Costa Rica. Some of my destinations will see me return to the towns I've loved before and some will have me finding new places, within the Costa Rican borders, to fall in love with.

For the first time ever I am setting off on a trip with someone else, my friend Tracy, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't at all nervous about it. I guess the thing about traveling alone is that there is no one to disappoint, or be disappointed by, no one else that could trigger a shift in my mood or my mindset. Having traveled before I know that it is not the kind of thing you should do with just anyone and I did not go into this plan with Tracy lightly. I love the freedom of traveling alone and not needing to be accountable or responsible to anyone, but I've also seen many fellow travelers moving in pairs and thought how nice that would be. To know that someone always has my back, to know that with every change of destination there is someone there with me to get through over any bumps in the road that may come up. What worries me though, about having a partner in the journey, is the potential for someone else's desires and actions to affect my trip. Already tonight I got news from Tracy that she was changing our plan for meeting in Toronto tomorrow night and it has affected me greatly.

She has bailed on me and it hurts my feelings. I'm fully aware that in the end it's no big deal and there is so much more to this trip than the one night in Toronto, but the eleventh hour change, and seeming disregard for my feelings, affects my heart and my mood regardless of what I know to be true in my head. If I was doing this trip alone clearly this wouldn't be an issue. It's a shift in thinking to travel with another and I need to get my head around that, something I've been having trouble doing. I'm sure once we get there and have a night in Costa under our belts these feelings will melt away, but having never done a trip like this with someone else before, I am not entirely sure of how I should feel right now. I guess excitement is the way to go, and maybe my veritable burn out from a long year of hard work is affecting my ability to be truly excited. Affecting it at least until our plane takes off on Sunday evening, because if ever there was a way to get the excitement rolling it's the speeding up of the plane on the runway in preparation for lift off.

I think my lack of tangible excitement is partly due to the knowledge that Tracy will be leaving the North American Continent for her first time when we take off on Sunday. Though fully aware that I shouldn't, I can't help but feel responsible for her and the kind of time she will have on this trip. This is not something she is putting on me in any way, but rather something that I am absolutely putting on myself and I think it's throwing me off somewhat. I have been on a few trips by myself and I know how I mentally prepare and feel excited for them but this is different.

As the day draws closer, however, it's hard not to just feel plain old stoked. I have traveled enough to feel that I can make good decisions about who to choose as a travel partner and having lived with Tracy for a year, and being close friends for even longer, I feel I know her well enough to know that I've made a good decision in choosing her as a travel buddy. So, as the time for lift off approaches, I must settle into the decisions already made and simply look forward to a vacation that I very much need, and very much deserve.

So on that note I say, Feliz Navidad to all and stay tuned for the return of the adventure stories.

Much love as always!
Mols xo

Living A Charmed Life

August 22&24, 2008
Toronto,Ontario and somewhere there above.

What does it mean to live a charmed life and who is it that gets to lead one? Supermodels, actors, celebrities, superstars? The so called "beautiful people"? Many would probably assume they do, "the beautiful people" that is. Those same people would probably claim that they do not, so what defines a charmed life?

It seems we all like to jump on that question with the obvious "money" answer, but is that really fair? Does money really equal happiness? By all accounts that is a falsehood. Money may equal easy but it doesn't necessarily equal happy. All too often we focus on the negativity of life. What we don't have instead of what we do. While there are certainly some people out there who have so little that such a focus is justified, many more of us, especially in the western world, just need to take a moment to gain some perspective and really think about what defines a charmed life.

Truth be told, if you have food in your belly and a roof over your head, you're already well on your way to a life filled with charm. If you have love in your life, especially romantic love, you are certainly charmed, and if you've ever experienced the thrill of travel to places near and far then surely you must know that you're charmed. Broken down and dissected piece by piece, day by day, it should not be hard for any of us to recognize the charm in our lives.

As I began this journal entry I was sitting on the fold out bed in the guest room of my parents house in downtown Toronto, excited about the evening that lay ahead of me. An evening to be spent with someone I find intriguing, funny, smart and frankly, quite charming. Certainly that alone is enough to create feelings of gratitude. Of course as is so often the case, especially when talking to a Gemini like myself, there is another side to this shiny coin of life. That other, duller, side if the life coin has everything to do with where I sit now as I pick up my pen again to continue this entry.

I'm scribbling furiously in my book as my plane is pulling out of the gate and heading for the runway in preparation for take-off. In a few hours I will be touching down on land once again, across the country, in Vancouver. In the background a pre-recorded voice of the "anonymous French flight attendant" repeats the in flight safety procedures once again, this is Canada remember.

I realize it seems odd that the dull side of the coin would involve a plane ride across Canada to what could arguably be the most beautiful part of this vast country, but in fact this side of the coin does lack some shimmer. Last night, after putting down my journal to take the expected call from that certain charming someone, I got ready and headed out for my last 24 hours in my hometown. It was an amazing night and thinking about it now still makes me smile. Given, however, that I am currently taxiing down a runway and heading 4000kms away to Vancouver, I can see the coin one step ahead of me assuming lift off and flipping in the air. Flipping to the dull side where I can only wonder when I might get to repeat the excitement of the last 24 hours again. Unfortunately there is no telling exactly when that encore will occur...and so the coin lays dull on the floor in front of me...or does it?

Staring at the coin I can't help but let my mind deter me from flipping it back to the shiny, charming side of the life I lead. I can't help but think about my beautiful, ever-changing niece and the plethora of amazing friends to whom I must once again say good-bye. The wheels of the plane now lift up off the tarmac and my flight westward is commencing. If I'm not careful about where I follow these thoughts I could find my eyes brimming over with salty tears and my heart aching that familiar ache brought on by leaving the ones you love behind.

It is, therefore, at exactly this time that I must remember to be careful, to continue smiling at the memories of both last night and the last four weeks. Four weeks that I've been able to spend in my hometown, with all those people I love so much. It is those memories that give me the will to pick up that dull looking coin and flick it with my thumb forcing it back to it shinier, happier side. It is exactly those memories that remind me how lucky I am to be able to live in a city as beautiful as Vancouver but still get home a few times a year to see my cherished friends and family, despite the thousands of kilometres that distance us physically. Given that in two short years I will have flown back across the country to see them on 6 different occasions it would be wrong and frankly inappropriate to complain about my situation, for that flight is not cheap and not everyone can take a couple weeks off whenever they feel like it. I must think now about how lucky I am to work freelance, to be able to work in either of the two cities I call home. I must remind myself of the many other places on this big, beautiful planet I've been fortunate enough to set foot on and the many more I plan to tread across.

Though my heart still aches for the times I miss with these amazing people, it beats harder just knowing I have them in my life, regardless of which city I choose to claim as home. My life is indeed charmed and it only does myself, and my loved ones, an injustice to claim otherwise, or act as though it's not.

I love and value you all very much! As always, I look forward to my next trip home and extend the ever-standing invite to host you in Beautiful British Columbia when and if ever you should find the time!



Muchas amor mis amigos!

Mollie Mols
xoxo

a beautiful west coast week

January 28, 2007



It really has been a great week. I don't know a better way to open up this blog but that. It started in Whistler with some great old friends and a ridiculously good meal at the keg and is wrapping up today as I find myself with some alone time on a beautiful Sunday afternoon in Vancouver.

Steph left this morning to teach a couple classes in Edmonton. She was ready to leave last night but her flight got cancelled. Too much fog at Vancouver International. The fog here last night was actually really incredible. I actually saw a tunnel of it hovered over false creek. It was about 50 feet tall, hanging low in the air and seemingly in a quick and constant state of motion. It was interesting to see it from Steph's downtown 16th floor view and she told me that it had been around her apartment in the morning, so thick that it seems all her windows were frosted. Sounded cool, then I saw it this morning and it was a pretty strange feeling. Take a look at the pic of the bedroom and imagine lying in there seeing nothing but thick fog out the windows. It was a little cocoon like to be honest. Weird and cozy all at the same time.



Anyway, I had eaten already when Steph got back from the airport last night, but she was hungry and we suddenly had an evening to enjoy in the city. So of course we went out to eat, to a restaurant called lickerish, not far from home. Steph had the "prix fixe" menu and we had a couple martinis before splitingt the unbelievably good banana spring roll dessert from her meal. SO GOOD!

Stephanie and I have actually been able to spend quite a bit of time together which has been really nice. We've had a lot of our own time but we have been able to just hang and talk and be us a lot and it means so much to me. We haven't lived in the same city for 4 years now and so it's nice to know that we have some time and we're just settling into it and really enjoying ourselves. It's something that is totally invaluable to me right now as I have much to contemplate. Of course, being me I always have much to contemplate, but the contemplation right now feels important and necessary and there is rare as good a sounding board for me then my best friend of 20 years.



It has actually been really interesting spending this time together and seeing just how deeply we are connected. We can often finish each other's sentences and are thinking the same or similar thoughts. It's really interesting and I think very special. It's a relationship I can compare to my stepmom Janet's relationship with her friend Mamie, who is like my aunt. It's funny cause while Janet and I were stuck in Traffic on the way to the airport a couple weeks ago I got a voice mail from Mamie and as I listened to it Janet, not knowing, was thinking about Mamie. So interesting, Steph and I are totally like that. When we lived together our own mothers would often mistake us for each other when they called. Enough said.




I didn't want to say it off the top out of respect for my many friends and family in Toronto who are experiencing the finest Ms. Winter has to give right now but the weather Vancouver has had in the last week has really set the tone for the whole scene. It has been warm and, even better, clear and sunny. The mountains have just absolutely commanded their royal stature over the city and I am reminded all the time of why I love it here. The other day as Steph and I walked across the Cambie bridge back to downtown, the sun was setting on the day in the west and a pick reflection glowed off the mountains in the east. You don't get that every day in Vancouver so we felt pretty lucky to be able to stand on the bridge and just take it in.

I sure do love the look of fresh and falling snow though, and I sure do miss all of you back at home. I should be in better touch now than I have been. I love you all very much. Please drop me a line anytime, remember late night at home is like evening here... ;)

Talk soon,
xoxoxoxo

West Again

January 17, 2007
Vancouver, BC

I kept my promise to Steph. Sure I showed up at the airport loaded down with bags, but I promised I'd make it all pretty much disappear, and I did. She sat and watched with glee and amazement last night as I unpacked my things and fit them all into her apartment easily. In actuality, my stuff filled in all her blanks and it feels pretty perfect. She agrees and even says that it feels more like a home now. That pretty much sums up how I feel to be here.

After a weekend filled with work and family visits, it was wrapped out perfectly with a great gathering of some of the best people I have the priviledge of knowing. It was a fabulous evening, night and morning (got to sleep at about 5am) and I feel like I was sent off with a bang. Many thanks to you all!





Now that I'm here and settled in with Steph I can take some time to relax, reaquaint myself with beautiful Vancouver and stare at the mountains. It feels really good, mind you there is always a certain numbness to the first few days of a long trip away from home. It's a feeling I've noticed with every substantial trip away from home that I've taken. It feels good though and that's really the whole point.

Heading to Whistler this weekend to see so many more people I'm very much looking forward to seeing, but for now I'm just settling back into the west coast vibe. Good to be here.

mols
xoxo

remembering montreal

December 6, 2006

On this day seventeen years ago, Marc Lepine walked into L'Ecole Polytechnique in Montreal and murdered fourteen female engineering students, simply because they were women. At the tender age of nine, it was a harsh reailty for me to accept and watching 'The National' with my mother that evening I had a lot of questions that could not logically be answered. Fourteen innocent lives were lost that day and countless more changed forever.

The threat of violence is something that every woman in the world deals with, thinks about and tries to avoid on a daily basis and sadly many women are unable to avoid daily violence, often from the men who are supposed to be their greatest protector. Women are the bearers of our future generations and we, as a society, must agree to end violence against women.

On this, of all days in the year, let's please take a moment to think about the gentle hands of the women who raised you and the women who've loved you, let us take a minute to think about the importance of peace for all of the world's men, women and children.




rest in peace

Anne-Marie Edward
Anne-Marie Lemay
Annie St Arneault
Annie Turcotte
Barbara Daigneault
Barbara Maria Klucznik
Genevieve Bergeron
Helene Colgan
Maryse Leclaire
Maryse Leganiere
Maud Haviernier
Michele Richard
Nathalie Croteau
Sonia Pelletier

let the insanity begin

December 1st, 2006
T.O.

I can hardly believe that it's December already, and the official start of the onslaught of commercialism that makes up a North American Christmas season. It's a strange time of year that is meant to symbolize and celebrate all the good there is in human nature and life and the world around us, and yet, often times it becomes a crazed shopping experience. Then there's the awkward family gatherings and sometimes so much stress that family blowouts can become commonplace.

For me, the one thing I can always count on come Christmas is that I'll be busy. I just simply have to many families to juggle in order to make sure I see everyone at this 'family' time of year, not to mention friends. Needless to say I think come the beginning of december we all seem to be feeling pulled in a million different directions. Which is why I so enjoy Christmas day, because every year, without fail, there is a peaceful sense of routine to that day and a wonderfully cozy, lazy feeling of well...Christmas day, and nothin to do.

Here's to everyone having the most happy and stress free holiday season possible.

xoxo

An Ongoing Post

December 1st, 2006
T.O.

This post is sort of an expansion on the last. I have had many eerily correct horoscopes in my day and a couple of them have come in the past few days, including the one in the last post. So, I've decided to post all the eerily correct ones I get. It will be something that I update whenever I read my horoscope and think to myself...no way! Nuff said, here goes...

weekly overview
11/27/2006 - 12/03/2006

You're thinking like a serious philosopher on Monday -- although you're trying not to bore anyone. You like being around people who are nothing like you, who don't see things the same way, who've had different experiences than you've had. You enjoy a fresh perspective. Tuesday and Wednesday you're itching for a change. (Some new clothes? A new career?) Thursday and Friday, put yourself in the path of your most outspoken friends. You'd like to hear their take on things. Communication is a theme this weekend, too, but it's so busy and chaotic you can barely hear a word anyone's saying.

Life can't always be a flirt-fest, and love's asking you some more serious questions now. At the beginning of the week, it's best to address (rather than ignore) a lack of clarity in your romantic situation or your own heart. A creative activity helps you collect yourself -- paint, write, act. Then sometime after Wednesday, you can collect some helpful anecdotes and advice relating to your present and your future, from both friends and random connections. The weekend shows that you've got reserves of depth and strength that might surprise even you. Transform your reality!

daily
December 01, 2006

Gather information not just from one good source, but from several of the best. The differences you find in their approaches and advice hold the key (you are also likely to get good tips out of each).

What's strange is that you don't care at all if your crush is returned -- you're just enjoying how much you like this person. Your motives are pure and your actions, direct. You're definitely on the right path.

September 10, 2007 ***NOTE***

Okay, so after I had this brilliant idea I started having issues with Blogger and getting stuff posted. So the ongoing part of this post has fallen flat at the start line. Thing is my horoscopes continue to be correct and there are plenty more for me to share so as I'm getting back online with my blog now I will try to take this post all the way throught to the end!

gemini (24 hours daily paper)
09/10/07
Neither time nor money is meant to be wasted. Every momen you don't make a move makes moving that much harder.

Okay guys this one is very interesting. It definitely adds to the eeriness of my apparent alignment with the stars. I can admit that I have a facebook page and that I enjoy a few of the available applications. No surprise then, that I get my horoscope on my page, but I also get a Tarot Card each day. I find today's draw very interesting for a few reasons. Please take note of today's date, then the card. Hmmmm...interesting no? Now take a moment to read what the card stands for. Yes, it is relevent to my life these days, as have most of my cards on my page been, cheesy as I know that sounds. More importantly, however, I really feel like the card, applies to the day upon which it has been drawn. Think about this card on a global level and the historic level of this day. Very interesting I think. I certainly would rather lives were not lost so please don't take the final sentence too literally mean the those lives. Think more about what the world lost that day and whether we can turn that loss into something positive. Something that globally we really have yet to do, though locally I see it all the time.

As a side note, take a moment to remember the tragedy of this day, may peace befall our troubled planet.

09/11/07
The Tower

As a personal card, The Tower is perfect for the revolutionary or iconoclast, or anyone who flourishes in rapidly changing environments. What The Tower brings to the mix is sudden, usually unexpected change. With that change there will be a period of disorder, and there may be loss. However, the loss is probably not yours, since you may well be the agent that created the change to begin with. Many positive things can occur from the change The Tower indicates: Truths will be laid bare, revelations and breakthroughs are not just possible but likely, and nothing spurs creativity like a good dose of chaos and confusion. In the end it is likely that what replaces what was lost in the fall of The Tower will be worth the loss.

timing is everything...

November 28, 2006
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

GEMINI
If you've been dreaming about making a change, today is the day to make that dream come true. All you have to do is make the initial step. Don't make the mistake of expecting major transformations to happen overnight. If you need to end a relationship, you don't have to say good-bye today. Just set up a time to meet and talk. If you're working on a physical change, take each day as it comes. Time is the missing ingredient that will help you accomplish your goal.

You're in tune with the universe and all of its inhabitants. In fact, your perceptions are so right on it's downright spooky. Just don't reveal the secret behind all your information. A sense of mystery adds to your reputation.

___________________________________________


Honestly, sometimes the truth to my horoscopes is eerie. Considering the many many things that have been going through my head as of late, I find this one reassuring. Change, change, change, it seems I'm always in a state of change. I sure do hope to change that some day. ;)

For now I'll just keep on keepin things interesting I guess.

FREEDOM

So now that I'm a member on 'YouTube' I've got all these videos to share with you. Here's one my dad sent me a little while back. It was made in an attempt to make the American congress more blue (as in the democrats) in the recent congressional elections at the beginning of the month. Maybe it worked? Maybe it had no impact, but either way the American congressional map was painted blue a couple weeks ago and we can all breathe a small sigh of relief. If only they had done the same two years ago with Bush, we'd all be a lot better off...and probably a lot more, safe, secure and free. Wasn't he supposed to bring those things to the USA?? Or, wait according to him, he has...WHATEVER, forget it!

THIS IS SO GOOD! SO TRUE! Had to share!

Enjoy!
Mols xo

CHRIS ROCK ON THE WAR ON TERROR

The man is not only funny, he's totally right. Just in case you've never seen it and/or you need a laugh!

Chris Rock for President! lol

Free Hugs

November 21, 2006
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

So, I've now seen it about three times, in about as many weeks, on various information television programs, this concept of someone standing in the street with a sign reading "free hugs".

Juan Mann started it and through the magic of 'YouTube' has created a worldwide buzz. I have to say it's a buzz I'm happy to buy into. I think this world needs more hugs. Everyone should get at least 10 hugs a day or you can start to get a little down.

I've always been a fan of hugs and for about as long as I can remember I've been very free giving with them. I think we all need more hugs in our day to feel good. A couple hugs can go a long way and I think this free hugs campaign that Juan Mann has started is a beautiful reminder of the need for kindness and caring in our world.






----------------------------------------

November 29, 2006

I was working with a crew today that had many of my favourite peoples on it. It was a super early start with a quiet calm in the air, yet somehow still rough (probably just the grogginess of the hour). My day turned a couple hours after the sun rose and I wrapped it up in a great mood. What I now realize totally changed my day around, I got a lot fo hugs this afternoon and it did wonders.

The power of a good hug never ceases to amaze me. So, thanks for all the hugs today guys.

xo

It's All About The Pics

November 20, 2006
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Today I had the pleasure of spending time with a friend I haven't seen in a while, my friend Mike, who I met in one of those crazy travel stories where you run into someone from your hometown in a far off land. If you've read my blog at all you know I met Mike in Costa Rica and we had a lot of fun indulging in our shared love of photography. Today, after months of anticipation I was handed a disc with many of the great pictures we both took, with his camera, while in Mal Pais, Costa Rica. There are some real gems...so this entry is all about the pictures!

On a totally unrelated note. I finally saw Borat today and I have only three words...out of control!!

Please enjoy the beauty of Costa Rica...

Photos by: Mollie Rolfe

MORNING SURF SESSIONS

The Cycle of Life

November 13, 2006
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing and yet know exactly what I'm doing all at the same time.

I booked my ticket to Vancouver last night. I felt hesitant about it but I think that as just because I feel hesitant about everything right now. It's almost as if I'm numb to making decisions. I guess I just feel like I've made so many of them in recent years and have so many more laying ahead of me, and that's tiring. In the last five years I've constantly revisted the question that I think we all have to answer in our twenties. What defines our adulthood?



I read a definition once of the word 'few' that said it was any number between three and ten. I feel like it was just a few years ago that I graduated from high school, but it's far closer to ten than three. My best friends have been so, for more than ten years, one for twenty and I've had conversations that include the sentence, "My god has it really been thriteen years since I last saw you? You haven't changed a bit." All these are things I associate with adulthood, so too are things like holding down a steady job, travelling the world, having many friends who live long distances away, having a niece who's innocence moves me like nothing else, and thinking about the kids I may have one day...one day...but still I think about it and that's kinda..hmmm?

The thing is, I may be twenty-six but on many days I still feel twenty-one, or twenty-two, some days I feel sixteen again. So does that feeling ever go away? To be honest I really hope not. I love that I can still sit and talk to kids, to understand them and enjoy their company, sometimes more than that of adults, if I can be honest. That is not something I ever want to lose, but where then does that feeling of wanting, and being totally ready, to settle down come from? I guess you just know when you know, I believe I will, but I think it's that feeling that finally makes you really feel like you have got both feet firmly planted in adulthood. Can we define that feeling with any one life event, as we define adolescence through puberty, childhood through abiltiy to walk around and assert yourself, and newborn by birth?

I think that marriage is the first obvious answer to defining your adulthood but as I get older I question just how firmly both feet are planted at marriage. Huge committment, NO QUESTION! But does it make you an adult? I'm not so sure. I think that marriage (or simply making whatever kind of lifetime committment you feel suits your relationship) is the first step over the line and over the years certainly your other foot shall follow. A career will certainly force both feet over the line, by being the steady force throughout all other adulthood markers, but not the most powerful.



I don't think there is anything in the world that can propel you into adulthood like having a child of your own. All of a sudden a brand new, fresh, untouched slate of a life lies in your hands. You are now responsible for teaching this little thing how to be a good person and hopefully become a resposible, caring, happy adult. There is no responsibility greater than that in the world, and when taken seriously, I don't think anything else can grow you up like that.

Having provided a small glimpse into my contemplations of life I return to the fact that I have no idea and every idea of what I'm doing right now, all at the same time. I felt hesitant to buy my ticket out west because it's one way. With no apartment here to come back to, it leaves a wide open field in front of me. It's not like I don't know a number of people who have moved west not to return for a long long time...if ever. Don't get me wrong, I have every intention of coming back, at this point or at some point anyway.

I do however, also have many friends out there, including my dear friend of twenty years, and the luxury of being able to take my work on the road, at least within the country. It leaves many a possibility waiting for me out there too, and for someone who lives life according to opportunity presented to her, that leaves it all up in the air. So, I guess what I mean by my opening statement is this. I have no idea what I'm doing or what's going to happen beyond the fact that I'm flying to Vancouver on January 16th, but I know that I'm doing that and I know I'm doing it cause everything in me says I need to be out west right now. How long I stay remains to be determined.

I guess we'll see what happens. Stay out there or come home, I'm going to have a much better winter if I can frolick in the mountains.

Heading Out?

October 29, 2006
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Tomorrow morning my friend Ximena is headed to Bolivia to do a six month volunteer stint in the mountain town of La Paz. The next day one of my bestest friends in the world, Sam, and her boyfriend Sterling will hop a plane in the same general direction but landing in Buenos Aires, Argentina. They are living there for a few months before heading northward on a travel adventure with no set return date as of yet. Needless to say I'm insanely jealous of them, while also insanely excited to hear about all the inevitable adventures that lie ahead for them all.


Sammy and I (photo: Mike Ford)



If all goes well, I'll be making a trip in the southernly direction, maybe even to meet up with Sam and Ster for a bit. Unfortunately that will all depend on how much work there is coming my way in the next couple months especially and in the winter months as well. So it's a wait and see kind of thing, something that would be driving me nuts if I hadn't basically decided to head out west for a substantial part of the winter. I need to get out there. I miss it very much and I know that a trip out there could bring me the inner peace that I'm craving. It gives me a chance to travel and catch up with some of my most important peoples all at the same time, and in a perfect world it would bring me a few new work opportunities as well. At least it's something to plan for at the moment. I just hope that I can work as much as possible before Christmas.

Regardless, I opened this entry to wish a Bon Voyage and Buen Viaje to mis amigos who are taking off in the next couple days to open their eyes to the beauties of the world around us, I look forward to the stories and pictures that will, eventually, return with them and the tellings of their amazing experiences, although there will be days when I'll undoubtedly find myself longing to spend just a little bit of time with them. I think the greater distance in proximity to our friends, the more realization that we are growing up and taking control of shaping our own lives. It is beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time and I look forward to heading west in order to ground myself in the warmth of some of my nearest and dearest.

Safe travels my darlings, I'm so proud of all of you for chasing your dreams!

Sammy and Ster

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

October 28, 2006
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I know, I've been absolutely horrible in the last six weeks as far as posting anything here is concerned, but I couldn't let October go by without at least one post to log. The thing is I've been busy with work and such, really I have, I even have some exciting news. I have lots of news actually but I prefer to start with the exciting stuff.

I have found a light at the end of the oh so dark P.A. tunnel. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate being a P.A. The job itself is not the worst thing out there, but after two years there's only so much more I can learn and beyond that I'm just tired of being the lowest paid monkey, hanging in the dimly lit branches at the bottom of the tree. I have a brain and can you believe it actually works quite well?!?! I'm tired of doing a job in which it sometimes seems as though I'm almost encouraged to just not think. Problem is I could get in trouble for using or not using my brain, damned if I do, damned if I don't. I'm over it!

Enter two of my favourite people on set. Barrett and Paul, first and second camera assistants who I'm always happy to see in the wee morning hours at the beginning of yet another commercial shoot day. It started during a pre-light day back in May, and easily the day that I was the most hungover I've ever been at work (Kawabi reunion the night before...nuff said!). I was 'standing-in' on the 'kitchen set' as the rest of the crew finished up with the lighting and framing of the final shot we would pre-light for the next day. I was trying to hold an awkward seated position (I was standing in for a little girl) when I heard Barrett ask me something from behind the camera's eyepiece. He asked if I was interested in learning camera. I think the hangover muted my enthusiam, but said yes I was. I've always been interested in cameras and certainly I've wanted a way out of the production side of film for a while. Barrett and I agreed that we would try and find a time for me to join him at Panavision for a prep day. Fast forward to a couple weeks ago in Hamilton, Ontario.

During the busier summer months, it was hard to find time when I was available to join Barrett at Panavision to start learning something more than just which cases to grab and throw on the truck. Then, a week and a half ago, on a job shooting for three days in Hamilton and area, I was assigned to the camera department, to help them out. Couldn't have been happier about that one, worst case scenario I get to hang with Paul and Barrett all day, best case, I use the time to start learning camera. For the next two days I remained attached to the camera department's perverbial hip. By the end of it I was garbbing lenses, slating and standing by when Barrett and/or Paul could not. A few wrap drinks later they had decided to bring me into a whole new, and much more interesting, world. Got a prep day under my belt with Paul and by a twist of fate ended up on the job with them two days later. Again, I stuck to them like glue and was taken in warmly by both of the two camera teams on set. The days were long and sometimes gruelling, but I loved every moment of it. Okay let's keep it real, almost every moment of it, but every 17 hour work day has it's down points and that's not my point. I finally feel like I have something to go after in this industry that interests me more and will lead to a better, slightly more sane, lifestyle and better opportunities, and the increase in pay won't hurt anything either. It's had a very calming effect upon me in the way I've been searching for ever since I got back from my trip.

Of course, there is always a twist when I begin to feel sorted. The current twist would be Dave's telling me that he is going to move out. So, now I have another decision to make. Oh how I love having decisions to make...not really...not sure...? Making big decisions isn't exactly my strongsuit when I have a lot of options, but I have to just believe that I'll make good ones, that I've made good ones in the past. So, now I'm looking at basically three options. I can find another roommate to move in for the middle of January, find my own place for the middle of January or storage. Why storage? Well, I've been longing to go out west for a good chunk of time this winter and maybe this is that opportunity. It would certainly solve the paying rent while out of town problem and being in Vancouver could also bring me new working opportunities and I would really like to try and break into the industry out there too. Of course I can't deny that I am also just aching to see a number of people who live there. Two of my closest friends in the world are in the west and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

I'm a sucker for the mountains that can not be denied. They have one of the greatest powers to calm my mind that I've ever experienced. Sitting on or under their massive pressence, one can not help but realize how vast the world is and yet how important each tiny piece of it is to the overall operation of this beautiful machine we call earth.


i love me my mountains

Quotable Ramblings

September 12, 2006
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Some days just suck! You know those days? It's not so much that any one horrible thing has occurred to make the day so bad, although sometimes that is also the case, not always. Sometimes it's just a mood thing and we, especially we women during certain weeks in the month, can't always control our moods. Yesterday was one of those days for me. It all actually went by easily and quickly until the end of the day was reached and one person in authority of me made one decision that screwed up my whole night. I'm not gonna expand much cause it's just not worth it. This is not the forum for bitching so much as it is a forum for discussion and sharing. It's one of those hypersensitive mood weeks for me and my plans being ruined just didn't wash off the back the way it sometimes would, or should.

I found myself frustrated last night, nothing was going to be able to fix my plans for the evening and I just had to accept it. Now, if I'm being honest I have to admit that accepting something I'm frustrated with isn't exactly my strong suit, but after dropping my computer on the floor (these are the kinds of things that happen when I'm overly frustrated but it was fine thank god), slamming a couple doors and probably leaving my roommate a little shocked I managed to calm down. Thank god Dave had found some greenery in a random drawer, that did wonders, truly, thanks!!

Frustration is the only emotion that can really take me over and just destroy even the best day. It's something I've been working on for years, and am happy to say I've improved and am improving greatly on, but it is still my weakest point and the one emotion most likely to break me (broken hearts are in a category all their own folks). There's a lot to be said for a little perspective when you're being overcome by the one emotion you can't handle. There are many places you could find perspective. For me it often comes from my friends, sometimes from my family (really depends on the situation there) and most times from a little solitude and admittedly my greenery. A little introspection usually solves things but sometimes that introspection needs a little edging on and when that's the case I like to turn to quotes.

Famous or not, well known writers or anonymous ones. From great thinkers, revolutionaries, athletes or celebrities alike, a good quote can really make you think. It can open your mind to things you may never have realized existed inside your world before. So, on that note, and because I had such a shitty night last night, here are some of my favourite quotes that I've discovered over the years. Many were found as the 2003 (and still current) Iraqi war loomed on the horizon and I needed to channel my anger over the situation into something. It turned it into a hell of a slide show for school and a lot of ranting, raving and realization in my 'idea book', but we all know how much I like poiltics and appreciate those politicos with great things to say and ideas to share.


a great speaker, with many great quotes and one of my heros, one of the world's heros



"Speak your mind, even when your voice shakes" - Maggie Kuhn

"A Friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words"
-Anonymous

"I am struck once again by the unutterable beauty, terror and strangeness of everything we think we know" - Ed Abbey

"You give of little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give." - Anonymous

"If you forget where you come from you're never going to get where you're going, because you lost the reality of yourself"
-Ghostface Killah

"You can plan a pretty picnic but you can't predict the weather" - OutKast

"I'm old enough to see behind me, but young enough to feel my soul" - Lenny Kravitz

"Be not inhospitable to strangers, lest they be angels in disguise" - Shakespeare and Co. Bookstore, Paris, France

"If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament" - Germaine Green

"Nobody ever went broke underestimating the tastes of the American people" - H.L. Mencken

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Plato

"No other offense has ever been visited with such penalties as seeking to help the oppressed" - Anonymous

"Do what you love, love what you do, and deliver more than you promise" - Harvey McKay

"Friends are not necessary to live. They do, however, make life worth living" - C.S. Lewis

"And I guess one of the great agonies of life is that we are constantly trying to finish that which is unfinishable"
-Martin Luther King Jr.

"I don't know the key to success but the key to failure is trying to please everyone" - Bill Cosby

"Success is a journey not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome" - Arthur Ashe

"You put the happy in my ness, you put the good times into my fun" - Ben Harper

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away at once. Heroism at command, senseless brutality, deplorable love-of-country stance, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignorable war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be part of so base an action! It is my conviction that killing under cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder." - Albert Einstein

If you know me at all you know exactly who I would direct the final quote to.

Hope everyone is well. I'll try and post another sometime soon.

I had a few minutes so...

if only I still had a few minutes like these, Ometepe Island, Nicaragua


August 15, 2006
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I can't believe that the summer is almost over, where has it gone? Thank god I am taking an opportunity to get up to the cottage for a few days this week. I think the lack of work this week is a blessing in disguise.

My very good friend Julie posted this same list on her blog (with some different answers of course) and I thought since I had a few minutes I'd follow the trend...


THIRTEEN random things I like:
1) eating oysters fresh from the ocean (it's true what they say you know)
2) the true peace of my cottage
3) trash mags
4) snorkelling
5) cooking for others
6) rogers PVR
7) sudoku
8) shakespeare in the park
9) crosswords
10) chillin on the balcony
11) the saturday paper
12) sunny days
13) speaking spanish

TWELVE albums to live and die by:
1) van morrison - moondance
2) dave matthews band - live at redrocks
3) bob marley - gold
4) a tribe called quest - beats rhymes and life
5) biggy - ready to die
6) pearl jam - ten
7) tracy chapman - tracy chapman
8) tlc - crazysexycool
9) pink floyd - dark side of the moon
10) jack johnson - brushfire fairytales
11) weezer - blue album
12) anything by outkast

ELEVEN random thoughts:
1) "i really hope i can see steph this week"
2) "a bath would be amazing tonight"
3) "there's probably something better i could be doing with my time right now"
4) "having a crush on someone who has one on you is fun"
5) "i wonder when i'm gonna settle down and where"
6) "i miss buffy"
7) "why do i care about celebrity gossip?!?" (ditto to that one julie)
8) "when will i return to montezuma"
9) "i can't wait to get out west again"
10) "my 20s are certainly a hell of a trip"
11) "i'm looking forward to reading a book by the lake"

TEN random things about me:
1) although i love them very much i have no tatoos
2) my life is filled with duality, fitting that i'm a gemini then
3) i've always had trouble turning off the thoughts in my head so that i can get to sleep, i'm a night hawk
4) i love lazy weekend mornings with good people and brunch
5) i prefer a night in with a small group of friends to a night out with lots of acquaintances (ditto julie)
6) i like hearing about people's families, no one is without an interesting history
7) i often have psychic experiences and wonder if i am sensing ghosts
8) i'm often mistaken for being a snob when really i'm just shy around people i don't know (ditto julie, especially by women)
9) i'm greatly affected by the moods of those around me
10) i pay attention to the details of life and have a great memory of them

NINE ways to win my heart: i pretty much just have to ditto this whole section of julie's, we're the same like that
1) be genuine
2) accept my faults and acknowledge your own
3) pick up on cues - or better yet, don't even wait for a cue
4) play with my hair/massage my back without being asked
5) keep your cool when i've lost mine
6) be sensitive to things i'm uncomfortable with
7) compliment me
8) be honest and communicate
9) trust me

EIGHT things I want to do before I die:
1) live in western canada
2) travel the world (BIG FAT DITTO probably my most important goal in life)
3) raise children
4) have a happy and healthy life (ditto julie)
5) fall truly and madly in love
6) live overseas
7) have a career that i enjoy
8) skydive

SEVEN things that annoy me:
1) my insecurities
2) people who think they're above you/below you
3) bad communications skills
4) bad customer service
5) the price of a movie these days
6) my alarm clock
7) toronto drivers

SIX things I believe in:
1) true love (ditto julie, i hope i can find it)
2) my intuition (ditto julie)
3) good friends (ditto again)
4) every person deserves peace
5) some sort of higher power (and again)
6) dreams (and again, really this is why we get each other julie)

FIVE things i'm afraid of:
1) a broken heart (but that doesn't seem to keep me from trying)
2) losing my parents to soon
3) not being successful in life
4) being alone in life
5) current world politics

FOUR of my favourite items in my room:
1) my many photos
2) my kawabi hoodie
3) my colour scheme
4) my buffy beenie baby

THREE things I do everyday:
1) read my horoscope
2) sudoku
3) take some time just for me

TWO things I want to do right now:
1) have a really great kiss, the kind you feel all over
2) hike a mountain

ONE person I want to see right now:
1) there's a few, too many of my peeps live far away these days :(

Young and Restless

July 14, 2006
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Okay, I can admit it, I'm in my late twenties. It's weird to hear and say for sure, but at least I'm coming to terms with it. I just still feel like such a kid and feel like there is so much I want to do with my life. Honestly, I'm not so bothered to be in my late twenties. I'm excited about the way I've spent the first six years of this decade and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens in the next four. I think that the late twenties are a really important part of someone's life. I think a lot of important life changes occur, and while I'm terrified about that on the one hand, I'm totally excited on the other. It's almost like in the next four years there are still a lot of independent goals I'd like to accomplish, but I think I may also want to start settling down and that is the terrifying (and sometimes exciting) part. That's okay, go ahead and call me the Gemini that I totally am!

in belize contemplating life

I'm totally restless these days. I need some changes. I need to start taking control of my future and making sure that I will be happy in my working life. In the last few weeks I have really been feeling that need strongly within myself. I crave total control over my time. Which lends itself nicely to my other overwhelming craving, for travel. I want to see the world. More and more I've come to realize that travel and serenity are probably the two things I want to accomplish most in my life and luckily I have found that one helps lead the way to the other. I often think about my life, the things I've done, the places I've been, the friendships I've made (and held onto for so many years), the relationships I've had, the successes and the mistakes. In all this thinking, the only thing I really feel I will regret on my death bed if I have not accomplished it, is seeing the world.

I know I can't go to every town and city and country on the globe, but I want to at least get to all corners of it and see as much as I possibly can. I know my style of travel will evolve over my years, but I don't ever want to stop doing it. The real catch though is that I really want to do some long trips, probably a couple that could last a year here and there. That really doesn't lend itself to settling down with some, one person any time soon and the prospect of that is a little sad too, cause not finding a true love in my life would sure make me sad on my death bed too.

our river oasis in rio dulce, guatemala

Ideally I would find someone who wants to take off with me for a couple years, of course that would be true love and all would be well, but you just never know when that person is going to appear in your life. Whether it's someone you've never met before or someone you've known for years, they will appear to you in that light when it's time. That is something that I truly believe, the catch being I'm not sure that everyone on this planet gets that lucky opportunity, so it's chancy, but so is life in general really. The good news for me right now is that I feel totally okay with the fact that I'm single. I'm not waiting and worrying about this person appearing in my life, I'm just enjoying mine.

I started my twenties on a hot spring night in Sevilla, Spain, gazing at the stars as I lay on the roof of my hostel with two fellow travelers. It was a beautiful way to start such an important decade and I swore then that travel would become an important part of my life, and especially the decade ahead. Six years later I can proudly say that it has. I have traveled most summers, at least a little, since that marked night in my life. True, much of that travel has been done in my own country, but it has been truly amazing and one of the travel goals all along. With this recent voyage through the early months of 2006, I covered a whole lot more ground and more importantly, grew a lot as a person. I absolutely love what travel does to my mind, my heart and my soul. It is such a special experience and I believe it is imperative in my continued growth in the decades to come.

It's addictive. If you haven't done it you need to do it now.
camouflaged at the ruins of tulum


On a completely different note but one of great importance, it is my beautiful baby niece's second birthday today. I talked to her on the phone for a few minutes today. Her voice makes me melt every time I hear it and her face just makes me smiling and happy. She is the most beautiful and amazing little girl and I'm so happy she is a part of my life. I look forward to knowing her and helping her through all of her personal growth and even more I can't wait to see what she is like as a young woman. It's all so exciting!

Here she is the little cutey!

DON'T DELAY

Toronto, Ontario, Canada
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!



I like to think that my group of friends is pretty diverse, but the one thing I have in common with the vast majority of them, over anything else, would have to be the love of travel. We all share it. It's hard for me to think of any of my friends who don't love to travel. I suppose this isn't the most strange thing that could ever be, after all travel is the most amazing thing we can do in this world.



I truly can not understand how anybody would want to miss out on a chance to see every corner of this great planet we live on. There is so much diversity, so many amazing cultures, traditions, people and places to discover. I know this both from my personal experiences and the experiences of the people around me. Be them my friends from home who bring their stories back, or the fellow nomads I meet along the way who carry a world of stories within them, I love to hear personal accounts of all the places I know I want to go, and the ones I want to go to now that I've heard about them.



There is no experience as real, or as important, as meeting the people you share this planet with. I think if we all put travel high on our list of priorities, no matter the level of luxury (although I think budget travel should be a pre-requisite for life), the world would be a better place. We should all be able to learn about other people's traditions with curiosity and interest and without prejudice. Easily one of the things I'm most proud of, in my life, is the list of places in this big, beautiful world that I have seen. Many of them I hope to see again but the planet is a big place and there is a lot of amazing ground to cover.



Having said that, this huge planet is actually a very small world. Travel teaches us that better than anything. I have yet to go on a long trip and not bump into someone I know or someone with whom I share a mutual friend or occurrence (which says nothing for the people I meet who are from my country or city). It's an indescribable experience to travel the world (especially solo). It's not something you can ever truly understand until you do it. True it's not cheap, but it can likely be cheaper then you first imagine a huge trip to be, and there is nothing wrong with keeping the trip in close proximity to home if that's all you can afford at that time. The important thing is to just get out there! AS SOON AS POSSIBLE



Throughout this entry are some of my favourite pictures from my trip. Top to bottom.
1. Orchids at the farm just outside Antigua, Guatemala
2. Glass bottles encorporated into a wall just outside the Weary Traveller Hostel in Tulum, Mexico
3. Just so I know how far away I am from home, in the Carribean on Caye Caulker, Belize
4. At the top of the smoking Pacaya Volcano just outside Antigua, Guatemala
5. Ignacios cabanas at daybreak on the eastern shore of Caye Caulker, Belize
6. A traditionally dressed Guatemalan woman at the Sunday market at Chichicastenengo, Guatemala
7. I couldn't leave this without a picture from Costa Rica. It was a tough choice but Elvia wins out. This was taken on my last morning in Mal Pais at her family restaurant. We actually spent a lot of time with Elvia. She is one of hte most inspiring people I've ever met. She's 12 years old.





--------------------------------
TO ONE OF THOSE SPECIAL FRIENDS WHO IS CURRENTLY ABROAD!

I finally got an email from my friend Glen today. He's been in Europe since September and I miss him terribly. i am also very happy that he's having such a great time. His list of countries is growing rapidly and there's still no definite word as to when we may see him back on this side of the pond again. I'mjust glad he's happy and enjoying all that Europe has to offer. He sent me a few pictures and it was so great to see how he's doing. I guess I finally got the email after sending threatening "communicate with me" messages to him via our friend Jeremy who is over there visiting him this week. In all honesty we've boht been neglecting our communications lately but we've also both been on the road for most that time learning new things, meeting new people and seeing new places. So, I'm just glad to have heard from him and hope that either on this side or that one I'll see him again sometime soon. I wanted to post a couple pictures, of myself and Jeremy, taken specifically for Glen as we chatted about him at a wrap party about a month ago. We miss you much Glen Diggy! xoxoxo




WE MISS YOU MUCH BUDDY!

APOCALYPSE NOW...HMM?

June 6, 2006 (6/6/06)
Collingwood, Ontario, Canada (C/O/C)

Okay, so today's date is apparently a signal of the apocalypse, or even the beginning. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Firstly, I feel there have been many apocalyptic signs in recent years; September 11, 2001, December 26, 2004, August 29, 2005 all the dates on which I consider having seen some signs of the apocalypse. Immense human, environmental and even political devastation. So then why should some random date be a sign? Well that begs the answer "duh, it's 666", but I take a slight issue with that answer only because, using my highly tuned justification skills, I could argue that the date is actually more 6606 than 666. Again, I realize that being as it's the year 06 and zeros are nil, meaning nothing meaning a clear space in the date and 666. I guess I just figure that the fact that it's a date is kind of the reason the zero is actually completely important and valid to the overall date. I mean technically there was once an actually 6/6/6, 2000 years later it seems that was not the day of the apocalypse, but then what do I know? At 26 years old, clearly I wasn't around then.

So, to all the beautiful little Gemini babies who are born today (and even those who are just celebrating), fear not the day you were born and enjoy it to the fullest for years to come. I'm happy to say I've enjoyed my day very much and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ALL!!

Back To Set, Back To Reality

May 18, 2006
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

At this point, there are a few things I can't believe. I can't believe I've been home for almost a month already. It still feels like just last week that I was in Costa Rica soaking up the sunshine and partying my nights away by moonlight in Montezuma. Sadly, however, it was nearly a month ago and as the time has passed since my return I am adjusting back to my "normal" life. I had a few days off before I got back into my work life, but those days were filled with reunions and farewells and they just flew by.

Before I knew it I was back on set. Thankfully, my first job back was with all the guys who I looked forward to seeing upon my return, a great crew no question. It was a massive job, seven days that turned into eight, and so the production crew was a big one. Thankfully I was surrounded by good friends and looking forward to some good times. There were an insane number of locations on this job and the first three days in particular kept us all busy. Happily it all went quite smoothly. Despite the number of unit moves, we didn't even lose a walkie!







After day four of seven, on Thursday, we all felt it was neccesary to go for a beer. It had been four hectic days and we were starting late the next morning, so, the only decision to make was where. Well, that one beer turned into a few more and then a location move of our own from Sweaty Betty's up to my old stomping grounds on Bayview Avenue, McSorely's to be exact.

Of course, things just escalated from there and continued to do so all evening until the sun rose and I found myself crashing at Ted's for a mere 3 hours or so before heading back to set the next day. Our later start had prompted some long hours of partying from most people in production and so the Friday seemed to move at a bit of a slower pace, but we managed. Luckily we were in only one location that day and didn't have a whole lot on our plates to deal with.


The PA Lounge



So, what else should 8 PAs with little to do on a shoot day be doing? Making a sweet ass PA lounge of course! Obviously we were all interested in resting our aching heads and tired bodies, so an area in which to do just that frankly seemed neccesary.
Enter the support cube, complete with two crash mats, six boxed tents, a wack of location mats and even a baby blanket. With those few ingredients and some clever rearranging we soon found ourselves with a dual level sleeping area for four, though most of us (save for Alastair) didn't actually fall asleep.

The only thing missing then was Marco's infamous hammock. At one mention of it there he was, hammock in hand. Suddenly we were looking at sleeping areas for 5, a snack bar, a patio and many extra seats for visitors, not to mention the tunes from my ipod. Sweet set up indeed. A little electriciy to watch some hockey games and we would have been totally pimped out, but alas that was too much to ask so we had to settle for the radio version. It was a long night but it was made all that more bearable thanks to our lounge.


Taking it easy after setting up lunch









Barrett wants a 20 on Jenny Martin, Ted doesn't want to talk about it



It was a long shoot and we all figured things would start getting bitchy on set by days seven and eight, but surprisingly the good vibes conintued throughout and we capped it all off with a hell of a wrap party. Started at the Drake and finished at Manny's place, sometime in the wee hours of the next morning. Thank god he lives five stumbling minutes from me, and that Jonny walked me home.


Manny at the Drake wrapping the job up proper

I've had one other job since, a quick 2 day gig with Warren. Things actually got a lot bitchier on that set. Not sure exactly why that was although I have my suspicions. Let's just say a crew is only as good as it's director...and leave it at that. It was very nice to be back at work with Warren and Sandy though and thank god Ted rolled onto that job with me too, or I probably would have lost my mind. Thanks for the never ending comedy and good times boys. It's good to be back on the job with all you crazy kids! Here's to the great summer that lies ahead.

Hangin with the boys on set

So, it's now the long weekend, and while I'd love to take my days off and head out of town, that was not an option for me this year as I must spend the time preparing my new apartment for habitation. My room is painted a beautiful "toast brown" and the kitchen is an awesome "asparagus green", and more importantly, almost finished. Just a couple more rooms to paint and a bed to set up and I'll be nice and comfy at my new pad. Can't wait for that! Thankfully I also start the next job on Monday. Two more weeks banked, let's hope the jobs keep rolling in cause I'm looking forward to paying off some debts and going on a shopping trip!

What can I say? Back to set, back to life, back to reality. So far, so good, but the plans for the next excursion are never far from my mind.

Here We Go!

Chu


May 1, 2006
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


So, it has begun. The time in my life where I start to attend many a wedding, and not just attend but maybe even participate. I have a little practice standing up for someone on their special day, but seeing as both those occasions were at the weddings of my parents this is very different.

With about a week left in my trip, I sat in the Eco Tours office in Montezuma checking my email when I got a cheeky, teasing email from my very very good friend Chu (Julie). At that time she was touring around many parts of Asia with her wonderful boyfriend Ken. Obviously we all know where this is going. Point is that day that we all knew was coming sometime, probably sooner than later, had arrived. Ken and Julie got engaged. I'm so happy for her, mostly just because I know she's happy and also because she deserves every minute of this joy. Personally, I'm still getting used to the idea that my friends are starting to go there. I knew this time was coming soon but I guess I just always looked at it as something that was going to happen, not something that is happening. I can't believe my friends are getting married. I, on the other hand, could not be farther from the alter. It doesn't bother me now but I must admit it may start bothering me when the others start getting hitched if I'm still this far away from such a scenario.

The issue of marriage, for me, has always seemed to highlight my Gemini nature. I very much want to find someone I'm willing and happy to spend the rest of my life with, but I have hard time grasping just how that's going to work. Let the dualities begin. I guess it just comes down to finding someone who is truly interested in many of the same things as you (travel is huge for me) and willing to live a similar lifestyle as well. It's an often exhausting search and so it's something I've stopped being so worried about. My life is good and I'm happy. I have so much love around me. Of course I'd love to have one special man in my life but I'm also not willing to settle and so I must just be happy with what I do have, and that's a plethora of amazing people all around. People I care very much about and people who I can honestly say I KNOW care very much about me. That's the essence of life and love as far as I'm concerned.


me and chu a couple years ago at school

Julie is one of those very people to whom I feel deeply connected and who I love very much. I can't wait to be there to witness her enormous step into the next stage of her life, supporting her in any way I can. Chu, my deepest and warmest congratulations. I love you very much and am so excited for you. A little shocked that we've reached that stage (let's face it I still feel like a kid) but ecstatic none-the-less. All my love and all the best. Just call me with any help you may need!

Mols